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The Dog Ate My Resumé : Survival Tips for Life After College

The Dog Ate My Resumé : Survival Tips for Life After College
Zack Arnstein and Larry Arnstein
April 2004
192
$11.95
Humor
9781891661372
5 1/2 x 8 1/2
Trade Paper

Anyone who has ever graduated from college has faced the daunting question of "What am I going to do with my life?" A fortunate few know exactly what they want to do. Most of us don't have a clue.

In The Dog Ate My Resumé: Survival Tips for Life After College, Zack and Larry Arnstein offer comical commentary and tongue-in-cheek observations on how to:

  • Plunder Resources at Your University
  • Develop a Go-Getter Attitude! (Or at Least Fake One)
  • Be Fashionably Late for Job Interviews
  • Weigh the Pros and Cons of Living at Home! (Contains No Pros)
  • Bring an Abrupt End to Conversations About Your Future

The father-and-son writing team combines the naive lack of experience of a recent college graduate with the out-of-touch irrelevance of an aging graybeard. No, wait! Actually, the book combines the up-to-the-minute hip awareness of a certifiably youthful 23-year-old with the finely tuned wisdom of an experienced old person!

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Read Excerpt

Making Your Major Your Springboard to the Future
Yes, you do have a major. Take as much time as you need to remember what it is. This is the field of study you have chosen for serious focus and concentration, so that you are now an expert. But what career path has your major prepared you for? (or if you’re an English Major, what is the career path for which your Major has prepared you?) Here is a quick checklist, to acquaint you with some of the exciting possibilities:

Major/Career Opportunity Checklist

Major Career Opportunity
Sociology & Religious Studies…………………………….. Waiter
Anthropology & Comparative Philopsophy……………. Waiter
Algebraic Number Theory………………………………….. Bartender
History……………………………………………………………. Further study in another field
Chemical Engineering………………………………………… Shouldn’t you already have a job?
English Literature……………………………………………… House sitter
Italian Literature……………………………………………….. Pizza delivery
Ecology & Global Environment…………………………… Telemarketer
Political Science……………………………………………….. Volunteer
Psychology……………………………………………………… Fortune teller
Creative Writing……………………………………………….. Parking Attendant
Women’s Studies……………………………………………… Waitress

Of course, this is only a rough guideline. If, for example, you majored in Ecology & Global Environment, there’s really no reason you can’t aspire to become a House Sitter, even though that profession is more closely associated with English Lit majors.

Summary for Students:

Within any academic discipline, there are multiple career paths one may take. Except in Art History, where there are only two career paths: teaching and cleaning the floors in an art museum.

Summary for Parents:

You just sat there and watched while your child got a degree in Art History??

Author Information

Zack Arnstein

The co-author of The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion, The Bad Driver’s Handbook, and The Dog Ate My Resume has recently graduated from college with no idea what he’ll do with his life. This means he has plenty of time to tell you what you should do with yours. Also having not yet made any major life decisions, he has not yet made any major mistakes. He is currently working on his resumé.

Larry Arnstein

The co-author of The Ultimate Counterterrorist Home Companion, The Bad Driver’s Handbook, and The Dog Ate My Resume squandered a perfectly good college education by becoming a writer for such TV shows as Saturday Night Live and Not Necessarily the News, for which he has won two Writers Guild of America awards. He is currently avoiding useful activity as one of the three writer/editors of Ironictimes.com, an online satirical weekly. He encourages young writers to pursue their dreams, but also to learn a more dependable trade, like armed robbery.

Reviews

“If the stress and disappointment of looking for a job make you want to quit, try a healthy dose of humor. Zack and Larry Arnstein’s book is loaded with laugh-out-loud mock “Do’s” to ease your way into the working world . . . The Dog Ate My Resume is great pick-me-up reading to remind yourself that while you may be occupationally challenged at the moment, you definitely are not a bum.”
USA Today

“Along with jug chablis, pirated cable, and a big spattering pot of lentil soup, The Dog Ate My Resumé is a must have for all under-employed 21-year-olds! (Or 32-year-olds, depending on how much time you wasted while trying to graduate college.) A hilarious and fast read.”
SANDRA TSING LOH, author and NPR commentator

“This is such a useful and hilarious book, it made me want to go back to college again! If only I had a father like Larry Arnstein to pay my tuition….”
MARVIN KITMAN, media critic, Newsday

“Chock full of fun and friendly advice for the frazzled college grad…. Together, Zack and Larry Arnstein pool their resources and provide their readers with much needed advice, but also some much needed laughs in the face of highly stressful decisions….Offers true-to-life tips about the things college graduates want to know….The Dog Ate My Resume succeeds because it is both funny and helpful. This is the perfect gift for college graduates, as it gives a healthy dose of humor to save them from the impending nervous breakdown.”
The Daily Vidette (Illinois State University)

“Finally, a book for those getting ready to go out in the so-called “real world.” Yes, impending graduates, there is a book for you. The Dog Ate My Resume: Survival Tips for Life After College, written by father and son duo, Larry and Zack Arnstein, is a must-have for those preparing to ready themselves for the job market….The Dog Ate My Resume is a hilarious and often satirical take on a graduate’s life. It’d make a perfect gift for that friend of yours graduating within the next few weeks, or just something silly to have out for coffee table material. Although lacking any “real world” value, the book is still “real” funny and can help take some of the edge off the stress of having to take that next big step in life.”
The Daily O’Collegian (Oklahoma State University)

“A hilarious book that offers comical commentary and tongue-in-cheek observations on the painful and always awkward transition to life after college.”
BG News (Bowling Green University)